Body Hate

Why is it so easy to hate your body?

I’ve read some things that say to treat your inner self like a child.  You would never say statements like “you’re fat” or “gosh you’ve got rolls all over your tummy” to a defenseless little one, would you?  The obvious answer is no.  And for most it would be easy to concede that fact.  Most people treat children with a soft touch, only building up rather than breaking down.  (I know there is some controversy over whether that just makes children into poor losers or softies or whatever, but that’s beyond the scope of this train of thought.)  So what changes when we talk to ourselves?  Where do we get off speaking so negatively to our inner selves?

I suppose we figure we live in our bodies every day, we’re allowed to say whatever we want about them.  Kind of like how we live in our houses or apartments day in and day out so we have the right not to do the dishes, huh?  Right.  Well, what good comes from being so mean?  Do you feel better after you tear yourself down?  Or is it just easier to say something hurtful than to say something constructive?  I’ll admit, it sometimes feels much simpler to just say the same old yucky things to myself instead of taking the time to come up with something original, something nice, something positive about my body.

So, what would happen if we started talking nicely to ourselves?  Would we spend more time in front of the mirror, or less?  Would we find that the soft comments outweigh the harsh ones?  Would we find that we actually like it, that we prefer the good comments to the bad?  I venture to say we might.  How about we try it out?  The rest of this month, let’s all say at least one nice thing to ourselves for every negative one that comes to mind or crosses our lips.  I’m not saying it will be easy, and I know it will take more conscious thought, but I have high hopes that we’ll end up somewhere wonderful.

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I honestly don’t know where the weekend went.  Do you?  Some of mine was spent baking some delicious treats for the family I work for.  Gluten and sugar free cinnamon rolls anyone??

Also, just take a second to check out this picture of these two batches of chocolate chip cookies.  What a difference a newer oven makes!  The ones on the left are baked in the older model in the house and they’re sadly flat but the ones on the right are not only more golden but they are plump and delish too!

Anyways, just an interesting observation I made yesterday.  Today revolved around cancer patients.  I started off the day with a bowl of cottage cheese, plain nonfat yogurt, flax seed, white-flesh nectarine, and cinnamon.  I think I threw some plum in there too.

My whole morning was spent seeing cancer cases.  The appointments all ran long so I scarfed down a plum and some cheese in-between the first and second appointments because I was hungry.  Good thing I did too because we didn’t get a chance to sit down to lunch until almost 2p.  I ate the rest of the salad I had after church on Sunday.  We had a storytelling ministry meeting at a local Potbelly’s yesterday and I ordered the chickpea veggie salad.  I wasn’t super hungry so I gave up after only 10 bites.  Thankfully it was just as good the second time around (though this picture is from the table at the restaurant).

After my third patient of the day, I spent the remainder working on more case prep for Wednesday and Friday.  It’s about to be a big week in the clinic.  I ended up staying late at the office and Mitch drove me home.  When I got back I was really hungry despite it being 5ish in the evening.  I decided to go straight for dinner though I was all sorts of confused as to what I wanted.  Goat cheese, carbs, and sour cream all sounded good.  Random right?  My solution: cheddar & broccoli rice mixed with sour cream, Old Bay, and chicken sausage.  I also had a cinnamon & raisin English muffin smeared with lots of goat cheese.

The result was perfection.  I loved every bite and it satisfied everything I wanted.  Nomnom.  I then spent the rest of the evening reading up on myotonic dystrophy type one and cleaning out my DVR.  Now, though, I’m off to bed.  6am comes way too quick to comfort.  Sleep well group.  I hope your Tuesday is lining up to be a great one.

Questions: What did you crave for dinner tonight?
What is your “best cookie” secret?

Friday Night & Flax Pancakes

I hope your Friday night was as nice as mine was!

Anna, an incoming first year in my genetic counseling program, and I went out to dinner to spend some time getting to know each other.  We have talked a bunch on Facebook, mostly revolving around our mutual love of cooking and baking.  We are totally going to have cooking dates.  It’s going to be awesome.  However, tonight we let someone else do the cooking!  The place we went was having a 2 for $30 deal that we jumped on.  First course: pretzel sticks with Havarti dill sauce and beer cheese.

The pretzels had the best combo of crispy, flaky outsides and tender, chewy insides.  The salt put them over the top too but, as you already know, I truly appreciate saltiness just about always.  In terms of sauces: the Havarti dill was my favorite though I think Anna felt the opposite, liking the beer cheese more.  They were both good though we felt that there should have been a third, maybe a nacho cheese or a spicy mustard.  For entrées we split two: the five cheese pizza and the black bean veggie burger with onion marmalade, roasted peppers, goat cheese, sprouts, tomatoes, and a chipotle mayo served on dark rye bread.  We had the oven fried fingerling potatoes on the side.

Sorry I spaced on a picture of the pizza but it looked pretty equivalent to any cheese pizza you’ve ever seen with a pleasantly light and crispy crust.  I ate half the burger and some of the fingerling potatoes while Anna tested the pizza and then we switched plates.  We both agreed that the black bean burger was the run away plate.  The burger had chunky bits of beans and corn and the goat cheese with the onion marmalade was a beyond delicious combination.  Plus, the rye bread gave the sandwich a different character than a regular old bun.  Also, that honking pickle was pretty perfect.  Finally, those fingerling potatoes might have honestly been better than fries.  I loved them.

Dessert came later…and I mean much later.  We ordered, flourless chocolate cake for Anna and chocolate cheesecake with raspberry topping for me, and then maybe what felt like 25 minutes later the plates finally showed up at our table.

I would venture to say they were worth the wait.  Mine was light and Anna’s was pretty dense. She didn’t realize it was supposed to be flourless when she ordered it and when she dug in she aptly named in a huge piece of fudge on a plate, or a slab of ganache, you take your pick.

After dinner I drove us both back to my apartment and we exchanged books and checks.  Anna didn’t want to buy all of the books for her freshman year and, given how much I have used them since my first semester, I didn’t blame her.  We decided she could rent them from me for about 20% of the purchase price.  It actually worked out perfectly because when I made from renting the books actually paid for my Embryology book.  Perfection I must say! Plus, Anna saved a boatload.  I love how savvy you get about buying/loaning/renting textbooks the more years you spend in school.

Anna ducked out a bit later to get herself home and I plopped myself on the couch to watch some Olympics and clean out my DVR.  Pretty sure I finally crashed in bed around midnight with the idea that I would sleep in and boy did I.  All the way until 9am.  That’s right, a full three hours more than I normally get during the weekdays.  Greatness.  I got up only after spending a good deal of time reading The New Rules of Lifting For Women (NROLFW).  So far I’m digging the book.  I figure I’ll take in and assimilate the whole book and then get started on the program.  I’m actually looking forward to it.

When I did drag myself out of my comfy covers, I got my heart rate up with a full body, six tabata, 25 minute workout that I found while surfing around last night.  Boy, it kicked my booty.  I was tired after I finished the sixth tabata, which was the second tabata focusing on abs.  Despite being pooped I was eager to try something I had read in NROLFW.  They talk about doing cardio intervals first followed by a five minute full rest to allow your body to flood your system with triglycerides followed by an endurance cardio session.  So I did my tabatas, sat on the floor for five minutes, and then did 30 minutes on the elliptical while reading more NROLFW.  IN the end I scored a great calorie burn and I felt kind of excited at the thought that supposedly a lot of my endurance cardio session was burning the fat that has been released into my bloodstream during the short rest.  At least that’s the theory of it all.

I trekked back to my apartment and set to making some refueling protein-flax-chia pancakes (check out the recipe at the bottom of the post!).  I made the batter before I went to do my elliptical session and then added in water and baking powder right before hitting the griddle.  The result was a huge plate of soft, chewy pancakes topped with flax peanut butter and syrup.

What a great way to finish off a both lazy and active morning.  I was a happy camper.  Now I’m off to hang out with some great friends, talk about the health stuff that’s happening in my world, and attend a wonderful house-warming party for Bekah (on my former second years).  Probably means I should go and make my onion dip to bring along huh??

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Protein-Flax-Chia Pancakes
A DNA and Dessert original recipe.

These chewy pancakes have 16g of protein and 11g of fiber, and that’s before toppings!  They take a bit of forethought to allow the chia seeds and flax to puff up but their chewy texture is hearty and totally worth it. They make a great post-workout breakfast.  The recipe makes roughly six “silver” dollar pancakes and I eat the whole plateful.  =D

P.S. This recipe is linked to Weekend Potluck!

Ingredients:
2 leveled tbsp protein powder
1 leveled tbsp of flax seed
1/2 tbsp chia seeds
1/3 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup milk
4 drops liquid stevia
Pinch of salt
--
3 tbsp water
1 tsp baking powder

How to:
1. Combine all the ingredients above the dash. Let sit in the fridge for at least thirty minutes.
2. When ready to cook, take out the batter.  It should be stiff, don’t panic.  Work in the water and then add in the baking powder.
3. Drop batter by large spoonfuls and wait for the batter to bubble up before flipping.
4. Top with your favorite things.

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By the way, something worth mentioning, it has been a full year since my accident.  Today is the anniversary.  It’s incredible how far I’ve come.  I still can’t believe that I fought a semi (not of my own choice of course) and won.  Thank you Lord.

Questions: What is your favorite pancake recipe?
Do you do longer/harder workouts on the weekend because you have more time?

Not Today

 

I was going to blog today.

Then I realized I don’t have pictures of half I ate today due to poor lighting because of a storm this morning and no camera in sight at lunch.

I am also waiting on permission to blog about my new graduate thesis idea.  Patient confidentiality comes first, you know.

Anyways, as you can see, I’m a bit strapped for something to write about.  So, I think I’ll just go hunker down on the couch and watch some Olympic primetime television.

Maybe bed early too.  I have clinic in the morning but I don’t have 8am class so that’s a plus.  G’night one and all.  I hope you too are getting your Olympic fill…and managing to sleep at some point.

Question: What will we all do when the Olympics are over and
we aren’t glue to our televisions every single day and night?

Swamped and Stuck

It’s been a long time since I’ve done a What I Ate Wednesday post.  Well that’s about to change!

This morning started off with an elliptical/abs workout over at the fitness center.  I did 20 minutes of cardio and then 15 minutes of ab exercises.  I used the routine from this 300 core challenge.  I was hurting by the end!  To refuel, breakfast was a chocolate protein breakfast cake complete with maca powder and wheat germ.  I topped it with gobs of peanut butter, syrup, and chia seeds.

It was consumed on the way to school.  I spent yesterday and today catching up on all the patients/results that I left behind when we headed to Florida.  I couldn’t, and still can’t, believe just how swamped I was from two days off.  I have four, count ‘em, four results to call out, two patients to call and gather info about, and my graduate thesis to set up.  Lordie, so much, so little time.  In fact, I fully intended on going to work at 11:00a but I didn’t end up there until 2:30p.  Oi!

During my busy busy morning I got hungry early around 11ish.  I hate how anxious it makes me to get hungry out of my routine.  I normally eat around noon so I was a full hour early.  However, I bite the bullet and ate anyways.  My lunch was a bowl full of  nonfat plain yogurt, cottage cheese, wheat germ, flaxseed, stevia, and delicious plums.

Thankfully it did the job and I was able to concentrate on the rest of my patient things.  The confession of the afternoon: I am a total sap when I read cancer records.  I mean can you imagine being told that you have a 10% 5-year survival rate?  Or what about that you are 28 and have stage four breast cancer?  How about that having children is not in your best interest because your cancer is estrogen receptor positive and being pregnant could aggravate that?  Finally, what would you say if an oncologist told you that you should consider that the cancer may take you before you can raise your child beyond their child years?  See, I may be a sap but you can’t tell me you wouldn’t be either in that kind of a situation… Later in the afternoon, before I headed across the street to work, I snacked on an apple because I was getting hungry again.

At work I got going unpacking a whole bunch of lab equipment that arrived on order this afternoon.  I cannot tell you the number of boxes of pipet tips I unloaded.  I ended up taking two whole boxes full of tips straight to the batcave (our excess storage room buried in the back of our LN2 room) instead of trying to find cupboard space for them.  While I was working I got hungry and took a few moments to eat a granola bar to ward off the sick feeling in my tummy.  I ate it so quick I didn’t take a picture but it was one of these babies.

At 4:30 I headed home only to get right back in my car to go to the lab for my blood draw that got botched yesterday.  Thankfully this time everything was in order and I got in and out real quick.

I will say I am a bit tired of being poked and prodded and stuck for blood so often.  I can only hope that this draw further clarifies what’s going on with me.  Perhaps after my appointment next Thursday things will fall into place.  Fingers crossed!

I was pretty ready to eat when I got home so I set to chopping up veggies for a salad after I walked through the door.  While I was slicing and dicing I turned on the broiler and roasted the last of my sesame marinated tempeh from last week.  I really do love the meatiness of tempeh on a salad.  Doesn’t hurt that it’s nice and salty too.

I used BBQ sauce for the dressing which honestly is probably my new favorite thing to do.  Perhaps it’s just cause I love the taste of barbeque.  Nomnom.  I’m not sitting here blogging with the Olympics on (go USA volleyball!) and a caramel rice cake smothered in mocha JIF and TJ’s chocolate & coffee grinder.

Delicious way to end the day.  The plan is to finish watching the volleyball match and then head to bed.  We’ll see how it goes.  I might cop out early.  I be one tired lady!!!  Sleep well group!

Questions: When was the last time you had your blood drawn?
What is the one question you always ask a new doctor the first time you meet?

Welcome To Florida

We are safely in Florida and having a marvelous time.  We arrived around 1p and got picked up by my mother at the airport.  We almost immediately found a Quizno’s for lunch because we were hangry.  I ended up with a chicken Milano on rosemary parmesan bread with a side of BBQ sweet potato kettle chips.

I also snagged a whole small cup of pickle slices to satisfy my salt cravings.  I love pickles!  The sandwich was good too, by the way.

After lunch we moved on to my Grandpa’s home.  It was great to see all of my family again. We’re spread pretty far and wide so it’s always nice to see each other all in one place, especially for such a special occasion: my grandpa’s 80th.  With that in mind, the afternoon was a time spent catching up on each other’s lives.  We broke around 6ish to go to dinner at my grandpa’s favorite local place (and we’re talking like less than half a mile from his home) for Italian cuisine.  All the tables started off with some delicious rolls spread with garlic oil.  I might have had three of these…

Our table (basically my mom, dad, Jack, and I) was the only one populated with wine.  The boys and I had glasses of cabernet sauvignon and my mom stuck with her traditional white Chardonnay. 

For my food I ordered the cheese ravioli with a Louisiana crab sauce.  Seriously, the sauce was like a better version of a buffalo chicken dip and the raviolis were awesome.

The sauce was mopped up with the extra bread and I couldn’t have been happier.  The wine may have helped with that too!  Dessert came to the table in the form of a cannoli and a slice of chocolate raspberry cake to share.

After these yummies, the dinner came to a close and we rolled on home to settle on the couches and chair to watch the Olympics.  We were one heckling group, let me tell you.  It was funny.

The next morning started off with some cereal and yogurt before I headed into the house (we were staying in the motorhome on the driveway) to whip up some caramel frosting to apply to the caramel cake I had made the night before.  I was in charge of the birthday cake so I went big.  We’re talking goat’s milk gourmet caramel big!

It was a bit more semi-sweet than traditional caramel which actually ended up working beyond perfectly because the frosting more than made up for it.  I piped on some happy words and “Semper Fi” to honor my grandpa’s Marine Corps days.

I went for a run after finishing the cake.  It was only two miles and it was bloody hot outside.  I kind of felt like a failure but I suppose I was still lapping everybody on the couch, right?  I do love that Pinterest pin.  After a shower, we all headed to lunch at a local place called The Shack.  Jack and I split two sandwiches: a reuben and the lobster roll.

I cannot tell you how yummy the lobster roll.  It was so light and delicious.  Usually the lobster salad is heavy and mayo-drenched but this was just all sorts of flavor.  I sort of wanted to keep the whole thing to myself but I was glad for some of the reuben.  The fancy rye bread was great.  The three granddaughters who were present at the reunion stopped to take some pictures before heading back home for the afternoon of house set up.

We spent the hours before the birthday party setting up tables, chairs, throwing linens, folding napkins, and dressing the wet bar.

Then came time to change and party.  I’ll admit I didn’t take a ton of pictures because my hands were pretty much always full with a plate, a wine glass, or I was buried in conversation with old family friends and new friends of my grandpa that were interested in putting a face to a name (apparently my grandpa talks about me a lot).  What I did take a few pictures of was the food of course.  When planning the party we settled on bringing in a private chef to cater the whole event straight from the house kitchen.  What a great idea it turned out to be.  We had an appetizer spread first consisting of crab or sausage stuffed mushrooms, veggie or shrimp/veg spring rolls with spicy Asian sauce, and a fruit platter.

Dinner was served an hour and a half later.  We had two entrees: salmon with dill sauce (by far the runaway favorite of everyone) and chicken and sauce Provençal.  The sides were a couscous and roasted vegetable medley of corn, purple potatoes, zucchini, squash, and brussel sprouts.

We also had a spinach salad with warm bacon dressing and garlic knots with small pearls of mozzarella cheese embedded.  A fantastic dinner to say the very least.  We loved it all.  A few more glasses of wine later, it was time to get our sweets on.  I lit the candles on the cake and we sang Happy Birthday.

Always the patriarch, Grandpa got up to give a speech (while the candles were burning and dripping on the cake!!) about how much he appreciated us all.  It was moving and the crowd was rowdy!

We all had huge smiles.  When I went back to cut the cake, the personal chef had started rolling out the desserts.  Boy were they good though I was told the homemade cake was the best!  Victory.

By the end of the night, we were all well-fed, well-watered (or alcoholed if you please), and well-nourished by friendship and laughter.  There was even some embarrassing singing of American Pie though I can’t remember for the life of me why that song was chosen.

The night wound down at 11ish and we were all beat.  Sleep came in short order only to wake in the morning and clean the whole house.  Blah!  It was also the last day with a bunch of the family so we spent the rest of the morning saying goodbyes.  The afternoon saw only my family and grandpa remaining so we had a quiet few hours doing crosswords, sudokus, and naps.  Near happy hour we watched the Olympics and then had leftovers for dinner.  We also downed another couple bottles of wine as my grandpa’s lady friend joined us.  The conversations only got louder and louder, funnier and funnier.  =D

Monday morning we all went our separate ways.  Jack and I came home and instead of going grocery shopping, we went out to dinner.  Lazy maybe, delicious yes.  We did a German restaurant and both had beers.  I chose one that was supposed to have caramel, toffee, and cocoa notes in it.  Not sure I tasted all that but it was good regardless.

For apps we split a small Caesar salad and the onion dill bread.  Holy smokes splendid.  I could have had a whole other plate of that bread.

For our mains, I had the pork chop with a raisin, apple, and walnut sauce with sides of spatzle and 7-bean succotash.  Jack had the stuffed strip steak alongside spatzle and German potato salad.

We split some bites and really liked everything.  Finally dessert was a piece of German chocolate cheesecake (with an Oreo crust and a fudge layer on top) and a slice of Black Russian cake a la mode.

While both were awesome, the latter was the clear winner.  I couldn’t get over the Kahlua flavor.  And it was incredibly moist.  I was blown away.  Sadly that good mood didn’t follow me to today.  I spent the whole morning and some of the afternoon working on catching up after taking off Friday and Monday in Florida.  There was so much to do.  It was nuts.  Thankfully I was able to get a bunch done.  Made some progress.  Prepped patients.  Faxed letters of medical necessity.  Yea, lots.  Then I went to work for two hours and by the time I got home I was just ready to get some more blood drawn and grocery shop.  This is where stuff started to get really bad.  First, I get in the car and try to get out my GPS so I can make it to the blood draw lab.  Only there was no GPS.  Nope, it was stolen from my car while it was parked at the airport.  I didn’t want to believe it but then I got out of my car and I found little scratch marks by the door handle and a pried open indoor panel.

Okay so no GPS.  Screw that.  I finally get to the lab and the frakkin’ orders aren’t there.  The office never faxed them over.  So I couldn’t have my blood drawn.  I drove all the way there and couldn’t do anything.  Oh man I was so angry.  However, I was already all the way out of my way (by 25 miles for the lab) that I went frustrated grocery shopping while blasting my iTouch.  It did a bit to help my mood but in the end, this find helped the most.

Now for bed peeps.  I’m sorry I’ve been so distant but vacation combined with craziness at school has made it hard to find time.  I promise to try harder to be around a bit.  Tomorrow is a What I Ate Wednesday so I’m not planning on missing that.  Deliciousness to come I think!

Questions: What do you think about the idea of a personal chef catering a party in your house?  Ever tried the new JIF flavors?